With deep sadness and supreme feeling of helplessness I have to write that eventually people and systems in this nation would be coming to a colossally sad and gory end given the extreme apathy and carelessness that exists in our society.

I am for some reason experiencing these events myself and finding that there are hardly anyone who can come forward to help or even suggest options in such situations.

Today as I was traveling back home to Indore by bus (HANS travels) from Bombay, I had this urge to relieve myself early in the morning at about 530am. I probably drank too much of water last night and the A/C in the bus was in full blast (another apathetic and uncaring expression by the service provider - they don't care, just turn the A/C full blast and shut the door and the people in the sleeper coupe will deal with it) but i was awake by about 530 or so waiting for the morning stop the bus drivers usually halt at.
And I was feeling uncomfortable and wanted to get out at the earliest to relieve myself.
At about 6 AM the bus stops somewhere and I see that everyone sitting in the front near the driver have probably got out to help themselves.
So here I am, getting out of the bus and trying to locate a suitable spot. It was very dark outside with no street lamps at all.
When I got out, I could not see clearly who was where though i could see a guy probably 10 ft in front turned into some corner, and there were a couple of people who were sleeping by some shop front about 20 ft diagonally to the left where i was standing.

Trying to locate a corner I began walking, again, it was dark and I had no clue of anything in front of me and there.. the next step of mine, I am falling into something.
I have no clue what happened after that for I sure realized after a few seconds, that I had fallen into a mucky ditch, as the smell hit me and I felt drowned in the muck. I was cursing left right and center, as luckily the water in the ditch was not too deep, but the ditch itself was about 6.5 ft, for just disappeared into it.
Having no clue what I was into, I somehow, and again, I don't remember how, got out of it, still trying to locate where i was going, and somehow got to some point where I relieve myself, cursing myself, feeling the muck drip all inside me, feeling - not so cold as dirty and totally helpless - but yes very much ALIVE. That's what I am thanking the Lords for, for this was a sure death trap, as I could have hit anything anywhere and probably might never have even lost consciousness, without anyone knowing that I had even fell into the ditch.

There were a couple of people who had gotten out of the bus, who I believe had seen me moving into that direction, there was one guy for sure - he was the cleaner of the bus - who was standing almost 3 ft. from me when I just about landed into the ditch, but he too probably was not sure whether I was a passenger from the bus or some passerby. None of them noticed, except one man who said to the driver that someone had fallen into the ditch, whence the driver began to laugh.
I was seething with anger that these guys were just standing there and no one moved a bit to come and see what the matter was and who was in and if someone needed help.
anyhow, I went to the roadside stall on the opposite side of the road, with the shooting pain in the left shoulder and asked the guy there to help me with some water to clean up. I guess in the light of the tea-stall he was able to see my clothes caked in muck and laughed at the image in his head of me falling into it. But he gave me some water and I tried to clean myself up as much as possible.
While cleaning up, thought about the weather, it was not chilly AT ALL. This is January, no chill, and even the water was okish. I thought I'd catch a cold washing up but didn't.

So after whatever cleanup I did, I realised my phone was gone. Went over to the bus side of the road and asked if someone could help me look up the phone. No one was willing to come up but one guy somehow said you won't find it in the dark so I asked for a torch. Looked around but no clue. I even decided to take another step into the ditch and scavenge the water with my hands to see if I could find it. Not remembering that I could have called the phone and heard it.... but no.. I was too shaken up for that. Nothaving found it, I gave up and got back into the bus to change into another pair of clothes though i was not fully cleaned up still. But I had no choice. The bus driver was not wanting to wait any longer and I was helpless.
I got in, asked which place that was and was told that we had halted at the roadside stall at Sendhwa, M.P.! No wonder, I thought, this is M.P. and this is how it will remain forever - despite the global investor meet the CM of the state was talking so frikkin highly about... I just wish him all the failure of his life and failure to all the governments of this state henceforth!!!

It sure was my good luck, that I am alive right now to share this event and wonder how many such people are there who might be meeting with accidents and not getting up again. I hear of so many accidents in Indore, where people are falling into open man-holes and not regaining life back, people who are meeting with accidents due to rash drivers and not able to see the next moment.

Saying so much, I simply feel that India has lost its soul of helping caring 'unknown' people. It might be just the case that there are people who are surviving BECAUSE they 'know' someone who came to help them, but otherwise, in general, if you are someone who does not know anyone in a new place or during such travel it is very difficult without people displaying the so called social awareness and social empathy for fellow human beings.
No wonder you hear of so many people dying in public places because there is no immediate help from the human circle around them. This is a VERY sad and dangerous situation and no one but every individual himself or herself have to fight for themselves if they are by themselves.

I am thus, right now alive with a gash in my shin, an injured left shoulder (which was already broken 3 years back) and my senses totally knocked out - and a mobile phone that seems to have either fallen into the ditch or somewhere there abouts.
Unfortunately, my senses were so disturbed then esp. also because the bus driver was honking away to get me on the bus, that I didn't think about calling my phone and locating it. Would have saved me the pain of the loss, and that thought of relocating would have at least salvaged some of my self respect.
Of course I have been equally stupid to have not gathered my bearings properly before I started walking and now I have doubts about my vision too, maybe a part of which didn't help my brain register where I was going, or that I was still too groggy without my conscious brain being aware of it, or too much in a hurry.. but I will definitely say that in my last 20 years of bus travel, this kind of a situation has NEVER come forth, so I do blame the bus driver also for this situation. But he, and everyone else in the bus, are not sensitive and sensible enough to accept a lot of such things, which have a logical thought attached to it, more than common sense - like not thinking about their own familiarity of the area when it comes to driving people around, but also showing more concern for the people who are their responsibility. Anyways, this aspect could go into a whole new tale!!

But yes, lessons learnt for myself, for the people in general; - when traveling
- carry a torch with you ALWAYS

- keep your cell phone on your person, but always covered and safe so that it can be traced in case of a mishap; today, the cell phone is you and your personality, so you have to keep your identity safe for people to come back and trace you in case you are lost as a person

- ALWAYS tell your neighbor in the bus, train, flight where you are going and how long you expect to be gone; Even if these people don't bother to listen then, they will remember later when there is an issue and they have to clear their names off suspicion

- carry a cell phone with it's Mobile Tracker software enabled (some phones now do have such trackers) or set up a password for important notes you store in the phone

- make sure you do not keep any 'critical info' stored as SMS in your cell phones which can be used to hack into your life

So here I am, reviling in the loss and pain helplessly wondering how apathetic will this nation and it's people get before they realize they lost it all...
We are in some very difficult times and the value systems are at a very low today.

Hopefully the value qualities can only go up, but will be possible ONLY when the majority of our population - the ones who do not spend their time on the internet (reading and understanding the changes of society and its impact on them), the ones who are still grappling with the transitions of their lives from small towns to bigger cities and coming to understand what it takes to live in the fast city life - come into their new lives WITH the basic human values and not leave them behind in their homes and towns.

India is getting poorer in its ability to maintain old infrastructure, old roads and lanes what will it do with the new ones that are being put in place all over?